One thing that I have come to learn about myself over the past few years is that I always aim to please and although that isn’t a bad trait to have, it does mean that at times I simply cannot say no to people, no matter how much I should to.
I think my inability to say know comes from being a full-time worker, part-time blogger, devoted girlfriend, daughter, friend and acquaintance. Somedays I literally feel as though I have a finger in every pie going and as though everyone wants a piece of me.
I’m not complaining, not one bit, its flattering to be in demand. But it does make saying no that little bit harder.
At times I have ended up disliking what I do, who I am because I feel like I no longer have time for me and if I’m honest that’s my own fault. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve entered a conversation regarding future plans, hell bent on saying no for my own sanity and yet I say yes when it comes to the crunch.
I even give myself a good talking to beforehand and it still goes the wrong way!
One of the things I genuinely I enjoy most in life, aside from writing & dark chocolate, is working out. That little bit of time at the start or end of a day where I get to block the world out & be at one with my own thoughts. Bliss.
But when I say yes to something that I really should say no to it is always this, one of my favourite day-to-day activities, that I end up missing out on. I miss my hour in the gym in exchange for champagne & canapés (which are nice don’t get me wrong), I miss my morning workout in exchange for a little extra social media coverage or I miss out on much needed me time spending my weekends at events.
Saying yes always ends up with me feeling spent, overwhelmed and anxious and that’s why I am learning the art of saying no.
When an invite pops up on my phone screen I often think of the consequences of saying no first as opposed to the consequences of saying yes. Why should I care if that PR takes me saying no to their bar opening as a bad sign if saying yes will be bad for my wellbeing?
Instead I will now be asking myself “If I say yes to this, what will I be saying no to?”,something that I recently read whilst surfing the web, if I am missing out on time with family or friends for a few hours of exposure, is it worth it? Probably not and will saying no mean that I get to make memories with those that I truly love & care for? Yes, it probably will.
Sometimes it is OK to say no if it allows you more time to do the things you want to do; going on holiday, keeping your integrity, staying happy and healthy…
So if I say no it isn’t because I’m not interested in your brand, your life or your event, it’s because I need to look after me, my health and my wellbeing.
I’ve learnt the art of saying no and I’m happy to have added that one little word to my adult vocabulary, alongside yes.
Do you find it hard to say no?
Let me know below and I’ll catch up with you again soon, until then though x
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