Each Winter I spend months wishing away the days until I can shed the layers once again and enjoy long Summer days filled with Sun, Sea and ultimately a little self loathing too. You see as much as I love Summer, it is a huge test of my self-confidence.
Photography by Paul Dickenson, in Oxenhope – West Yorkshire | White Crop by Ushiwear | Shorts by New Look | Bikini by Boohoo | Swimsuit by Boohoo | Skirt by Superdry | Kimono by Boohoo | Sunglasses by Ray-Ban
Many people can’t get their heads around the fact that I struggle with my self-confidence and in a way I can understand why; I’m a size 8-10, I workout regularly and eat fairly well 80% of the time. I love wearing pretty dresses and skirts because they’re a world a way from my tomboy teenage years and from the outside I probably appear to have few if not no hangups.
But I’m only human (and a female one at that) so I do.
It often frustrates me that society seems to think that because I have an OK figure, that I’m a fit of a ‘fit-chick’ and take care of myself that I shouldn’t have any issues with how I look. But because I have IBS, sometimes I cannot control how I look, no matter how hard I try.
This year on holiday I walked off the plane with a flat-stomach and the abs I had been working hard to find were finally peeking through. Within a matter of hours the familiar cramps had kicked in, my stomach was swollen and I was almost bursting out of my playsuit.
My stomach never has and, lets be honest, probably never will be one of my favourite parts of my body. I know this and so I’ve decided to focus more on the parts of me that are. I’ve always loved my décolletage, my shoulders and back … hell I love my little toe more than my stomach!
I still spend time on my stomach and abs in the gym, I always will, but on those days where it is bothering me or getting me down I work on my shoulders and back instead. I concentrate on making myself feel stronger, more in-control of myself and how I look.
When I go shopping for new holiday clothes I concentrate on picking up pieces like this Boohoo ‘Marbella’ Swimsuit that allow me to hide my insecurities a little bit. I know that right now some of you are reading that and feeling outraged that I want to hide my insecurities and not embrace them. But if that makes me feel happy, comfortable and confident, is that not a good thing?
I will always pack my bikini’s when I head away, a girl has got to get a tan, but from now on they’ll be more like this ‘Rhodes’ one from Boohoo, that are a little more daring but without being skimpy. These bikinis will make me feel more confident poolside and not want to hide under my towel.
So if you like me are struggling with society believing you should be full of self-confidence and with embracing your insecurities, why not switch up your wardrobe. Concentrate on the parts of you that you love, hide those little insecurities where they can’t bother you and show off what you feel comfortable to show off.
Live your life how you want to and remember that every body’s a bikini body, you just have to find the one that makes you feel amazing.
What are your biggest body hang-ups?
Let me know below and I’ll catch up with you again soon, until then though x
HarmonyBlaze has been shortlisted for ‘Best Fitness Blog’ at this years #BloggersBlogAwards – vote for me and a whole host of amazing bloggers over at TeaPartyBeauty!
*This article has been written in collaboration with Boohoo, all words & thoughts are, as always, 100% my own.
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