Over the past few weeks I have been feeling a little out of sorts. I’m not entirely sure why, I’ve been eating better and leading a healthier lifestyle than ever before and been receiving bigger and better opportunities for my blog. But something hasn’t felt right.
In reality it could probably be one of a million things that has seen my brain dive into a creative funk.
It could be that these fantastic opportunities that have been coming my way actually scare me a little. That’s right, I’m scared of these amazing things that are happening to me because of my blog. Why? Because they mean breaking out of my comfort zone, showing sides of me that even I didn’t know existed and working with people that only a few months ago I would never have thought possible.
Maybe it’s because I’m (in my eyes anyway) looking better than I have for a long, long time. I recently hit my goal weight of 55.7kgs and I’ve realised that I could happily, comfortably and healthily drop a little further. However, now that I have set a new goal, I’m not happy with where I am. I want to keep achieving, succeeding and improving.
In addition to wanting to keep on getting fitter, faster and stronger, I’m also wearing clothes that this time last year I would have looked at and gone, er no. Mr D has often pointed out to me that I have a tendency to wear the same old clothes all the time and that is very true, I did this because I felt that they didn’t make me stand out. This week I bought my first every bodysuit and jeez I feel amazing in it, but also incredibly self conscious. It’s so clingy, so revealing and so not me in any way shape or form. or maybe it is?
Looking in the mirror lately I haven’t been happy with what I have seen, yes I feel I look better than ever in my physique, but other than that I have felt pale and uninteresting. I’ve tried mixing it up with my makeup, using new products, new shades but nothing has changed my opinion of myself.
So I decided that it was time to change.
Time to change my mindset – these opportunities have come my way for a reason; these people like me. So I don’t need to worry about what they will think of me or what I create for them.
Time to embrace myself – I have worked hard to achieve what I have so far and I should embrace my new figure a little more instead of hiding behind my Chino Shorts and T-Shirts. I’ve invested in dresses, playsuits and other pieces I would have just looked at and admired in the past.
Time to change it up – in the past I have had red, purple, bleached blonde and even black hair. I think it is great that we can express our individuality and personalities through our appearances. We are so lucky to have such freedom to be able to do this and it is something that we should never take for granted. My hair had become a fairly nondescript shade of brown and in my eyes a little bit ‘meh’ (nailing the descriptive skills there I know.
So here you have it this is me – all 55.2kg, every pale pink hair and scared bone in my body. This is who I am, thank you for sticking with me through the hard times and the good.
Who are you? Let me know below as I would love to hear from you guys a little more and get to know you a little better.
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