So that’s it. Another year over and a new one just begun. But as we step into the unknown that is 2019, I think that I need to take a final look back over the past twelve months. Not to give myself a pat on the back as many others have in these sort of posts, but to reflect on what 2018 taught me.
In order to avoid making the same mistakes again … and I don’t mean leaving the Christmas shopping until the last minute either!
Over the past few years, December has become a month that I relish the prospect of; I get to jet away on an end-of-year adventure, I get to spend quality time with those I love AND I get to sit down and think about what I want to achieve over the next twelve months.
Only this year I didn’t really achieve anything that I set out to do.
At the start of 2018, I set myself 15 blog / business related goals and I only managed to tick one off the list in 12 months of trying … and that only happened in the last week when I finally took the leap over to WordPress (oh hey shiny new look and feel).
But instead of dwelling on the 2018 commitments I didn’t achieve, I want to focus on the things that 2018 taught me instead, because despite not feeling as though this was my year, I am taking a few lessons away with me.
LESSON LEARNT : I AM NOT A SUPERHERO
No matter how much I would like to be Natasha Romanoff, I am definitely not. I am not thick-skinned and words can hurt me just as much as sticks and stones, I am not able to do everything at once no matter how hard I try and occasionally I will screw up.
Screwing up and making mistakes is a part of life, it makes us who we are and it enables us to grow as a person. There is no-one on this planet who hasn’t made a mistake (or thousands of) along the way, no matter how self-righteous they come across.
I can’t work to the best of my ability if I am unable to focus and if that means taking on a few less opportunities, taking more timeout and taking better care of myself to be able to do so, then so be it. Self care is a lesson I must learn and take seriously for the new year, I think we all should.
In 2019 I will … spend more time looking after myself & my relationships with those closest to me and less time worrying about deadlines and the approval of others.
LESSON LEARNT : I AM GOOD ENOUGH
Over the past 12 months, I have become a shadow of myself and more introverted than ever before, simply because I haven’t felt good enough.
I haven’t felt worthy enough to be invited to events or parties because I haven’t been able to devote enough time to my blog or social feeds to offer brands ‘exposure’ in return. I haven’t felt worthy enough to be offered exciting opportunities and have stood back and let others have them instead.
And this all stems from one thing; being told I’m not.
I seem to have an ‘arsehole’ magnet in my life that draws these people onto my circle and gives them the opportunity to grind me down … I had a teacher in high-school who once told me that his 7-year old could have done better when picking up a grade on an assignment I was really proud of, my manager in my second ever job once told me that he wouldn’t have hired me if he had had the choice and well there’s a long list of these kind of drains in my history.
But I need to remember that I am good enough, that these opportunities are coming my way for a reason and that is because what I lack in followers or formal qualifications, I make up for with passion and dedication.
In 2019 I will … Remember to reflect more often. Reflection shouldn’t be a once a year occurrence, it should be frequent and whether achievements are personal or professional, they should be triumphed.
LESSON LEARNT : BEING THANKFUL ISN’T BEING OBTUSE
Over Christmas I saw a lot of people online being quite bitter about the good news and gratitude that other were sharing online. Personally I loved seeing how thankful everyone was for having their nearest & dearest around them, for the gifts they had received or the questions that had been popped.
But why is sharing good news, sharing gratitude, suddenly viewed as boasting?
If life is great, why shouldn’t you shout about it from the roof tops and tell everyone … isn’t that what Hollywood has always romanced us into doing?
This year I have seen a lot of my online circle achieve great things (Vix & Vic got engaged, Em & Bee moved houses and Claire & Carly had babies) … and I am so so pleased every time I see someone (regardless of how well I know them) share good news online.
I am a big believer in that if you are abundant with your gratitude, then you will receive abundantly too and that sharing your joy is not obtuse, it is a sign of gratitude.
In 2019 I will … share more gratitude, we need to break the taboo that is being thankful for what we have and we have achieved!
LESSON LEARNT : THE BEST IS YET TO COME
So 2018 wasn’t my year after all, maybe the purpose of 2018 for me was to learn that I am good enough, that I have exactly what I need in my life (stability, security and support) and that I need to take things at my own pace?
In 2019 I will … work hard, because that is the only way I will get to where I want to be before 23:59:59 on December 31st this year!
What has 2018 taught you? Let me know below and I’ll catch up with you again soon x